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y decision to write these prayers came after a very painful experience in my life. The father of my children and my one-time husband of 19 years shot himself to death just before Christmas, 1998. When we were planning his memorial service, I looked through countless prayer books, trying to find something to read for my children. There was nothing. It seemed that all of the prayers were for "nice" families - the married, happy families. The grief prayers were for people whose lives brought only positive memories, not for someone, like him, whose alcoholism left us in the throes of love vs. hate, and sadness vs. relief. How do you grieve the part you loved, while still remembering his power and our fear? This book is an attempt, however humble, to write prayers for those of us who have lived a less than perfect life but still trust our God to help us accept - and grow - and make sense of it all.
The prayers come from my own personal experience, frustration, joy and pain. I hope these prayers will touch the hearts of those who read them. If you've not experienced these things, may you become more sensitive to those of us who have. If you have endured these things, please know you are not alone.
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